I didn’t really know what to name this piece. All the other titles I’ve come up with seem completely inadequate to contain and explain what I am about to write, and what you, the reader, are about to read, so I’ll settle on this – ALL the feelings!

My eldest daughter turned 18 in September this year!

Let me just sit on that for a moment….

I am a 42 year old woman, with an interesting/odd relationship with my own Mother. I have four children, all of which are currently teenagers. But now, I am a Mother of an officially legal ADULT.

How? When? Is this for real? I honestly never thought I would see the day when this happened. Firstly, I never really thought I would ever have children, and when my husband and I were blessed with them, we started on this journey of parenthood with no idea, no experience, and really no plan – I just knew that I wanted to bring my children up differently to the way I was brought up and so did he.

So, here we are, eighteen years later and we have an adult daughter.

But, that’s not even really the most surprising thing. The thing that I am still trying to reconcile in my own mind is the fact that I like her, I love her, I adore her and want to spend time with her, and she feels the same way about me. I would even go as far as to say that she is one of my favourite friends – a best friend even. And she feels the same way about me too! That’s what really blows my mind.

And then there is the fact that I kinda feel like I have arrived. I know it’s silly, but for those many endless nights and loooonnng days, when I had to nurse and hold tight; change countless outfits, bed-sheets and nappy’s; wipe tears, snot, poo-ey bums and spew; listen to the constant crying and never-ending talking; and watch that ridiculous show again (for the thirty thousandth time), I didn’t think I would ever arrive here. I truly have paid my dues and I have lived to tell the tale. I have survived and I am here to testify.

I did it! We did it! We have successfully brought up one human being, nurtured them through child-hood – from infancy to toddler-hood, into pre-teens, through adolescence and into teenage-hood, and now, she is an adult! (And now I finally feel qualified enough to share some tips on Motherhood and Parenting. Ha!)

Through those long endless nights, when I didn’t think we would make it to the morning in one piece; through the wonderful and difficult days of molding and shaping, of learning and growing, of tempers and yelling, of snuggles and cuddles, of trying and failing, of getting up again and finally succeeding, of hating and hurting, of liking and loving, of teaching and being taught.

Through the heartfelt and heart-breaking moments of dancing and fighting, of car drives and long chats, of sing-along’s and movies, of dressing up and staying in, of missing out and getting picked, of making and creating, of wreaking and breaking, of chores and games, of all the memories we made – we have made it!

I’m proud of her, I’m proud of us. We got her to this point and we are all still alive to tell the tale. I honestly wasn’t sure that we ever would get here. There were many days where it was so hard, so much more than I thought I could deal with, but here we are, and we’re intact – thriving really, and I am so very grateful.

It’s bittersweet and beautiful. I’m feeling all the things. Like I’ve said earlier, I still don’t know how or what to feel about it all, but I do know this: If it wasn’t for God, we wouldn’t have made it!

The amount of time, breath, energy and effort I have spent on my knees, praying to just get through, to make it out of this day or this moment intact, for wisdom, for guidance, for HELP! – I cannot begin to measure. His constant presence, His blessed assurance, His faithfulness has been my solace. We owe our lives to our Creator, and honestly, some days He is all that I have had to hold onto. He alone has got us through. And I am forever grateful!

I know that my journey as a mother and our journey together as mum and daughter is not over, in fact, in some ways it is just beginning. We will now learn to navigate what these new circumstances mean, as we shift the parameters and boundaries once again, and relearn how to flourish, bloom and grow in this new kind of relationship. I’m excited. I’m looking forward. But oh, am I so grateful we have got to this point.

So, here’s a nod to all the Mum’s – to all the families just starting out on this journey called parent-hood: You’ve got this! You can do it! This too will pass! Hold onto God, pray ALL the time, remember to stop and breath often, and try to enjoy every single moment – they are but fleeting. …And give yourself permission to feel ALL the feels!