Let me be real. This is my experience of burnout…

I hit burnout at the age of 25. I had to leave my passion, pack up and go home. I was so physically and emotionally exhausted that I didn’t know how to slow down and look after myself.

Physically, I had no energy and I didn’t have a healthy balance. My asthma was quite bad and I had many anxiety/panic attacks. Emotionally everything was draining. I had been running on heightened stress and easily felt pressure and guilt from any expectation put on me. It felt like I had bricks on my shoulders, which were very heavy. 

In the morning I would wish it was night, and in the evening I’d wish it was day. I was constantly restless. I was pessimistic, which is not at all who I am. I found it hard to embrace and enjoy life. I could still roll out of bed and somehow know that this season would end, but it sure felt like a dark lonely season, wondering when the heaviness would end. Many people would continually encourage me to find rest in God and give Him all the heaviness.

There is a journey and a healing process that takes time to come out of burnout. I see burnout like grief, maybe because grief can be part of the burnout experience. You cannot just snap out of it nor get over it. It can have waves of emotions that come and go with heaviness and guilt.

Like grief, many people may not realise someone has burnout unless they know the person’s journey. People’s words, assumptions and expectations can make burnout even harder. A listening ear, grace and compassion are very helpful to someone who feels the weight of burnout. 

I did wonder why I hit burnout at such a young age. I realised that I needed to learn a different rhythm of life – learning to live from a place of rest instead of striving. I understand that God is able to restore those dark valleys, as He has done in me. I know God will use my experience of burnout as I allow Him to equip me to help others. 

Please, if you are exhausted, talk to someone so that they can listen and walk with you.