I failed as a parent yesterday!

It didn’t even occur to me until I was driving to pick up my children from school this afternoon. It was like a lightbulb moment, a screaming siren blaring out at me. How could I have missed it at the time?

As I was driving to the children’s school, I reminded myself that I was only picking up three of my four children today, as the youngest is away on school camp. I’m so happy for her. This will be her first school camp ever. She has missed all the other years because of illness. So, this was her time and she was very excited.

On Sunday afternoon, she was busy packing all her clothes into her little suitcase after I had signed off on her list and checked the piles that she had laid out. She’s very independent, this one. But for some reason, this time, she kept coming into the lounge room to ask me lots of little, insignificant things and it really started to annoy me.

I was watching a movie with her older sister and we had to keep pausing the movie to listen to her and answer her incessant questions. At one point, I was so frustrated with the constant interruptions that I let her know it. In full yelling mode, I promptly expressed my annoyance and told her to go away and sort it out.

Of course, she got upset and I felt like the worst individual ever, and quite possibly the “World’s Biggest Failure” as a Mum. I called her back straight away and apologised, trying to make it right but knowing that it really wasn’t, and then, on Monday morning, sent her on her way to enjoy her camp.

The thing is though, apart from realising my frustration was due entirely to my own selfishness, I couldn’t understand why she had behaved like that. She isn’t usually an annoying person. And then, this afternoon, it dawned on me.

On Saturday, when we were planning our Sunday (as we regularly do, with a family of six to navigate and organise with one car), I realised that it would be only me and the youngest at home together in the afternoon. So, I mentioned to her that maybe we can go together to have some lunch out and then spend the rest of the afternoon doing fun stuff with just the two of us (and of course get her packed for camp).

She was so excited about it and then, at the last minute, her older sister decided that she was going to spend the afternoon at home with us. So our plans got changed. I didn’t think anymore about it until this afternoon. I realised that my beautiful little girl’s heart was cracked because she didn’t get her one-on-one time with me that she wanted. That momentary plan in my head that I so easily changed without another thought, was to her a really significant thing and I didn’t even see it.

So, the acting out all through the Sunday afternoon was her little heart calling for attention. “Mummy, this afternoon is supposed to be about you and me.” She was trying to tell me, but she didn’t know how to express it and to make me understand.

See? Failed right there! But, you know what the great thing is? I get to pick her up from school on Wednesday afternoon and now that I realised my error, I can make it right. I plan on hugging her, loving on her, spoiling her and making her feel special. Because, yes, I failed then, but I have a chance, an opportunity to make things right and that’s just what I’m going to do!

What is nagging at you today? What have you made an error about recently that you can make right today? Who can you bless and love on and make feel important today?