My 13 year old son and I had our first serious conversation about “girlfriends & boyfriends” recently. Ah, young love and immature relationships… I seriously had to ask myself was I ever really that young and was I ever really that naive about all that stuff? And the answer to that is a resounding YES!

It got me thinking, how can one so young really understand the concept of a relationship? What does being in a girlfriend/boyfriend situation mean to kids these days (wow! this is making me feel really old, right about now!)? What consists of a “relationship” and what is expected between the two parties in such a thing at this point in their young lives?

So, I asked him. What does he expect from asking this girl to be his girlfriend, like what does that mean to him and to the girl, and all he could say was “I don’t know!” – Well, that was really helpful, huh?!?

There is a lot of peer pressure these days, and all of you that are parents would have already felt the effects of that in your children one way or another. After further discussing this whole concept with my son, it came out that it wasn’t really him and the girl in question that wanted more out of their friendship, it was in fact their collective friends that were pushing the whole idea. Well, that’s interesting.

Talking further, I discovered that it wasn’t really about “doing” anything together or even touching further than holding hands. It was really just a status thing. It was about the fact that you can tell everyone that you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend – whatever the case may be) and then walk around school holding hands (when the teachers weren’t watching, of course).

I asked him about whether he would go as far as kissing her and his immediate reaction was a scrunched up face and a loud “ewww.. Mum! No way would I kiss her. That’s just gross”.

Well, phew! That immediately set my crazy racing mind at ease. He is still a child who thinks that kissing is a no-no, so I stopped worrying right there. I was able to explain to him that he is not, in any way, shape or form ready to have a “girl-friend” and when he is, he will not think that kissing is gross.

Furthermore, I was able to help him understand that his peers were just pressuring him into something that he is not ready for and doesn’t even really understand and that if he stops a minute to take the girls feelings into consideration, he would see that none of this entire scenario is beneficial to anyone.

Needless to say, the whole thing was quashed and no more has been spoken of with regards to my young son having a girlfriend. In fact, he has since come back and told me that he is grateful that we had a chat about it all and that he feels much more comfortable talking with and spending time with girls since our discussion, as there is now no pressure for more (as far as he is concerned anyway. And for that, I am one very happy mother.

What is your take on young kids dating? Have you had any difficult discussions with your child/teen recently?