I find myself sitting in the quiet of my big and empty (for now) home this Sunday morning, reflecting, while the family is off to Church. It is the last day of the year – 2023.

I am now Mother to three adult children and a sixteen year old. I have one year left of their schooling – my third child is completing year 12 in 2024 and my youngest is completing 3 terms of year 10 and then attending TAFE after that. It is surreal to think, that after 16 years of having children in school, that this season will soon be ending.

I am living in my mid-life years and I can honestly say, that until recently, I didn’t realise what a huge life change we women (and as mothers) face in these years. We are navigating between various significant milestones all at the same time. Some personally, with our bodies changing yet again, in the cycle of life, and also externally. Our children are becoming adults and individuals in their own right. They are becoming entirely independent, with their own incomes, friends, cars (and licenses), and their own social circles that don’t include us (their somewhat irrelevant and aging parents – joke!).

It’s not been terribly difficult for me to adapt to these new life circumstances, but at times, I do miss the family closeness and connectedness – being the mother hen and gathering my people around the table for family time was always one of my highlights of parenting. Now, I have to book in advance on the family Calendar and then send out reminders to the whole family on our Social Family chat page (I think it’s a WhatsApp group – and I know we didn’t have anything like that when I was growing up), just to make time for us all to gather together for a meal.

Birthdays and Holidays look different now as they are all busy with their own lives and the family unit isn’t the highest priority for them anymore. At this point, there are no significant others in the picture, but that will change with time – I only pray that they join our family and want ‘with-ness’ not the opposite.

The rules have changed, expectations have changed and therefore the way that we parent has changed, yet, I still have a sixteen year old, who is needing things to stay the same (at least for now). I find that I am needed more by my adult children emotionally rather than physically. They use me as a sounding board more than they ever used to and I am incredibly grateful for that.

I love that they come and sit in my room (on my bed) with me (on my chair), or plant themselves on a piece of furniture in whichever room I am at when they haven’t seen me for a while. They may not want to talk much, with their devices in their hands constantly, but they are here and they chose to sit themselves in my vicinity.

I love that when they want to duck out to get something to eat or drink, or go to the shopping centre, that they always ask me if I want anything and sometimes they don’t even ask, they just bring something home for me that they think I would like.

The house-hold chores and jobs may not get done by them regularly like they used to – they have re-allocated back to Jonno and I mostly now, but each one knows what the absolute minimum tidiness requirement that they can get away with and they do that. It’s funny how they always come home long enough to make time to do their own washing (or swindle one of their siblings into doing it for them), so that they don’t run out of clothes to wear. And I’m surprised by just how much stuff they can keep in their cars and thrown around their bedroom, but they always seem to know just where that top that they need is situated.

Their bedrooms have always been their own zone and I don’t ever go in and make their bed or tidy up for them. We used to have to do a six-monthly clean out of each room when we were renting and we would take a few days to completely strip each room and chuck-out rubbish, sort through all their toys and clothes, deep clean everything, and then re-set and re-organise everything back away, but now we are in our own home, I have left them to their own spaces entirely and it’s interesting watching them take ownership over it – two of them are even lucky enough to have ensuite bathrooms and walk-in-robes, so they are living well, believe me.

So yes, 2023 has been another significant year of change and adjusting to our new normal, but truthfully, most years have been like that. I think life would be entirely too boring if there was only ever “normal” and no changes or milestones to take note of. I don’t look forward to that kind of life or future.

I believe 2024 will be another year of significant milestones, with our third child finishing their schooling and graduating, and all that entails. Also, with our forth and last child finishing up her formal schooling, we won’t be needing to do school drop off’s anymore – that will be a big change. Pretty soon, all four of our children will be earning their own incomes, driving cars and living their own lives and I look forward to that time with a touch of longing for what used to be.

For now, I will say farewell to 2023 and that I am grateful for all that this year was. I am grateful for the lessons I have learnt, the experiences I have had, the memories made, the joy and laughter, the sadness and grief experienced, the fun and hard times. I am grateful for who I am becoming and the changes I have made personally. I am constantly learning and growing and always on the journey of becoming more like the One who created me and that will not change in 2024. Thank you 2023 and Welcome 2024 – looking forward to all that you hold for us!