I’m thinking of getting t-shirts printed with this – would anyone else like one?
As we are getting further down the path of this covid thing, there is a dawning revelation – nothing is going to be the same. What we are going through at the moment is a form of culture shock. The weird thing is we didn’t go anywhere, and weren’t planning to change. But here we are.
I went to an open home on the weekend, and the realestate agent shook his hand as if he were shaking mine, but without coming near me. I gave him some sort of awkward salute in exchange. Just a short time ago I was teaching my kids how to shake hands properly, now it appears to be exiting our culture. And what will replace it?
Not hugging my friends feels cold hearted and wrong, but perhaps we will get used to it…? It struck me this morning – what do the French do now if they can’t kiss each other on the cheeks? What does it mean for a culture when it’s quintessential greeting can no longer be performed?
We are collectively going through a process of transition akin to culture shock and also, to varying extents, grief. The psychological models of these human experiences can show us what to expect. It appears we move through some pretty universal stages. I’ve found it so helpful to understand the stages, as it normalises our experience and helps us see some hope out there in the unknown. For the visual people out there, I have included a graph below 😊.
Culture shock and major life transitions typically take about 12 months. Initially, when everything is novel we have a honeymoon phase. Around three months the novelty begins to wear off and we start to head into a difficult period of stress and a sense of loss. Around the 6 months mark we hit an all time low. In the best case, this low then becomes a catalyst for acceptance, followed by letting go of old ways, exploring and testing new ideas, and eventually coming to a point of transformation. However, this difficult period may be prolonged without help, support, or a change of mindset.
If you need help to get a fresh perspective, now is the time to do it. Video call a friend, call a counsellor, start a new healthy habit. You are not alone at the bottom of that black hole. There is a way forward. If you can’t see it, reach out for help.
On top of culture shock, many of us are also dealing with grief. Grief similarly has a fairly universal pattern, usually moving through denial and isolation, then onto anger, bargaining, and depression, until finding a place of acceptance. The length of time this takes depends on a lot of other factors, but is also greatly aided by good support.
Knowing how humans typically respond to change, I think we have a rare opportunity to grow and be transformed. If we can ride this out, there is a lot of hope that we will be better at the end than when we began. What better time in history has there been to reassess our values and habits? And if we can grasp where we are in the process, we can have a little more sense of control over who we are becoming.
In the meantime, I will be hugging my family, my pillow, and looking at my friends as lovingly as I can make my eyes look.
P.S. if you are not ok and need urgent help (in Australia) call the wonderful people at:
