Today you turn 17. I can hardly believe it. Time has passed so quickly. It was only yesterday when we held you for the first time, so tiny that you fitted completely in your father’s hands. I remember staring down at you in wonder, barely believing you were real and that you were ours. Our first child, the one that made us parents.

You were so intricately and beautifully formed. A perfect mix of your Dad and I, blended together yet so unique. I was scared and excited, in awe and amazed. You gave me the right to call myself a Mum and for that I am so very thankful.

We had a rough start, you and I. From the first moment he held you, you were Daddy’s girl. His partner in crime, his side-kick, his cuddle-bug, his little mate, his wrestle partner, his daughter. He was so proud of you and I will never forget how he would hold your strong little body, your belly resting on his hand. He would raise his arm high and make you like an aeroplane, flying across the sky. Oh how you loved that and you adored him.

Me, not so much. I was your milk-bar. Apart from being your food supplier, you never really wanted much to do with me. You didn’t want cuddles or snuggles, you didn’t want to be held. You cried yourself to sleep and would only settle when your Daddy was with you. I called you ‘my heart’, but oh how my heart was broken. I so wanted to have connection with you, to have a flourishing relationship with you, but I was so broken.

During your first few years, I prayed. So furiously, so fervently, that God would heal us and draw us together. That He would restore what was broken and dysfunctional into a fullness that I had never known. And, He did! I’m not quite sure when it happened, or how it happened, but I know that now, we are good. We have a connection that I never would let myself dream or hope for. We are so very blessed.

I am proud to call you my daughter. I am so very in love with you and I love how you are always the first one to assure me when I am feeling particularly unlovable or awkward. You are truly ‘my heart’ personified. I adore you and I am in awe of you. Everyday you surprise and astonish me. Your brilliance, your creativity, your tenacity. The way you love, serve and include others, humbles me.

You are my teacher and yet you love sitting at my feet and being taught by me. We are constantly learning so very much from each other. You have been our guinea-pig for all the parenting fails and successes, yet instead of breaking us, it has drawn us closer together. You are so gracious and understanding when I tell you that “I’ve never done this before. I’ve never been the mother of a 16 year old girl before, so please forgive me and work with me to help me sort this out” and you do!

You are beautiful, inside and out and you wear it so very well. You have such a confidence in who you are, and you are happy and content with where you are in your life. I could never boast such confidence at your age but it is a gift you possess and it’s stunning.

You have such a strength within you that is admirable. Your physical strength leaves your brothers in your wake. I love that you are a solid opponent for wrestle matches with your father (just quietly, he loves that too).

I can’t take much credit for who you are becoming. I am simply a by-stander that gets to live and breathe each day in close proximity with you, and for that I am so very grateful. I am cheering you on (can you hear me? I’m the wildest, loudest, craziest one in the stands) and I can’t wait to see what this next year of your life holds.

My daughter, my darling, my gorgeous one, my heart. Today, we celebrate you! Happy Birthday!